Moving On

Published June 18, 2015 by Stephanie

It was a bright sunny day outside when I arrived back in Cincinnati. It was hot out but not nowhere as humid as in Alabama. Cincinnati weather is so unpredictable so I knew this perfect scenic day most likely wasn’t going to last too long. Nonetheless, I was just content on being home, for good. The last four years of my life had been spent away at college at the University of Alabama majoring in Psychology. Even though I’m close to my family and have a few good friends I distanced myself from everyone after high school graduation. I rarely came home on school breaks and totally absorbed myself in school work to take my mind off everything going on back home. I purposely isolated myself from the universe and didn’t have much desire to go out and meet new people while away. Why? I experienced a traumatic blow to my heart that snatched my overall existence out of my body. My boyfriend, the love of my life, my everything dumped me right before I moved away for college. I’ll never forget the day he looked me in my tear filled eyes and told me it was over but still wanted to remain friends because he cared deeply for me. Friends? I couldn’t understand how he expected us to be just friends after dating all throughout high school and being voted “cutest couple ” in our senior yearbook. Or, after losing our virginity to each other and even planning our life together after college.
I took the breakup hard and even though my major was in Psychology I still couldn’t wrap my mind around why I was so distraught over loosing Scott. Maybe it was because he never gave me a real legitimate reason for our split. We were happy and so in love, I thought. We never argued and got along just fine so I was totally caught off guard. I remember him repeatedly telling me ” that it’s not you it’s me. I need time to figure myself out ,you deserve better”. With that I went off to college heartbroken and haven’t spoke to him since. I couldn’t, emotionally it was too hard to keep in contact with him and our mutual friends who always brought him up in conversations. I wanted absolutely no reminders of Scott.
When I returned I moved back in with my parents in the same house I grew up in. This was temporary until I found an apartment and landed a solid job. With the exception of my parents I kept my return a secret. None of my old friends knew I graduated top of my class and was back in the Nati. I had quickly grown accustomed to being a home body and anti-social. I spent the first couple weeks mostly in my bedroom applying online to jobs and stuffing my face with Izzy’s and Gold Star Chili. Two of my hometown favorites I can only obtain from Cincinnati. When not being a pig I would go out jogging throughout my old neighborhood. While out on one of my early morning jogs it happened, and like I expected I froze but tried not to seem so chocked up. I ran into Scott who also was out jogging. He still looked amazing! Muscular build, dimples, 6’1 and a smooth cocoa brown complexion. He was just as handsome as I remembered. As, if no time had ever escaped us he immediately grabbed me close and gave me huge tight hug. He beamed with joy at the sight of seeing me and told me how much he missed me. The mere thought of him missing me made me warm inside. I think I even giggled a little like a small school girl. He insisted that we must go out and catch up with one another. Without hesitation I agreed and we exchanged numbers. My jog back home was filled with mixed feelings. I was lost for words and couldn’t really pick out which emotion I was feeling. Of course I was ecstatic to see Scott and his perfect smile yet I was also still angry and hurt that he left me. This man had me losing my mind.

Scott wasted no time texting me to hook up. By the end of the day we had made plans to have coffee the following day at a nearby mom and pop diner not too far from my house. I think I stayed up all night going through every article of clothing I owned to pick out something great to wear. Problem was that I didn’t have anything great to wear. I was just plain Jane, nothing special. My wardrobe consisted of tank tops, basic jeans and flats. I was never much of a dressing up type of person or the girl who turned heads when she entered a room. I was just average Samantha, nothing fancy or glitzy about me. Another reason why I never moved on from Scott. I didn’t stand out in college and none of the other boys noticed me. No one ever replaced Scott unless you count the numerous times I replaced the batteries in my vibrator that helped me through four years of lonely nights in my dorm room. I
eventually said fuck it and settled on some shredded jeans and a pink low cut tank top. I had on my matching gym shoes and my shoulder length hair was down and wild with curls going in every direction.
I didn’t have a car so I decided to walk the 15 minutes or so to the diner. I underestimated my ETA and showed up a little late. When I walked inside the establishment I stopped and looked around like a radar for Scott. “Over here Sam” yelled out Scott from a back corner booth. I smiled and walked over hurriedly to join him. But, when I reached the booth he wasn’t alone. “Hey Sam this is Rachel, Rachel this is Sam” he introduced us to one another. This Rachel woman and I shook hands from across the table as I felt myself shrink small into my seat. I quickly did a survey of her. She was stunning,beautiful,gorgeous. Everything I wasn’t. She wore a striped romper with manicured nails and flawless skin. Her hair was long and blonde and not a strand was out of place. She was perfect, and perfectly snuggled closely underneath the man I still had feelings for. They seemed happy together. he told me that they had been dating for almost a year and basically in so many words that they were never apart. Which most likely explained why she had tagged along to our coffee date.
Even though she was strikingly attractive she was down to earth and funny. And also very nice and pleasant to me. Which kind of amazed me. It was wasn’t everyday that your boyfriend introduce you to his ex who he still wants to remain in contact with. At the same time I also felt confused. She wasn’t jealous or terroritorial at all like most girlfriends would be in a situation like this. Made me feel like she thought she was better than me somehow. As if she just knew she was the shit and that no chick even one who was here before her could take steal Scott away. She knew her place, she was bad ass hell and he loved it. She wasn’t threatened by any other woman, especially not me. We finished up our coffees and Rachel suggested we go hit up the Taste Of Cincinnati to walk around and allow Scott and I more time to catch up. Scott exclaimed at the idea and faced me to see if I shared in his excitement. I wanted so much to be a party pooper and retreat to my bed to cry myself to sleep, instead I joined them.

About an hour into our outing I was actually happy I decided to come. Rachel and Scott were fun to be around. Mainly because Rachel was so outgoing and funny ass hell. I could easily see why Scott was into her. Plus a part of me needed to enjoy life and be around other people. While out I felt like my old self again. I was laughing,smiling,and even exchanged numbers with some folks I haven’t seen in forever. Strangely the next few weeks were spent with me, Rachel and Scott tied together by the hips. We went everywhere together and talked all day to one another. We were the three musketeers. I even spent time alone with Rachel. We somehow became good friends . One day out on one of our shopping ventures I asked her if she got along with Scott’s parents. The mention of his family was the first time I had ever seen Rachel not wear her million dollar smile. She looked at me with the saddest eyes ever and told me that Scott hasn’t introduced her to his family and doesn’t have any intentions of doing so any time soon. I looked puzzled and pressed on “But why”? She sighed “Its complicated, but I’m different and Scott’s family aren’t ready for different yet. They wouldn’t approve of me”. She seemed sad almost in tears so I dropped the third degree session and tried to look preoccupied with some nearby lipsticks. While in my head still playing out our conversation in my head. Different how? Sure she was white dating Scott who was black but I’ve known his family for years. I couldn’t imagine them having a problem with his girlfriend being white. I shrugged it off and focused my attention back towards our girl’s day out. Because Rachel and I connected so well I felt guilty for the feelings I still had for her man. I was trying my best to move on but I just couldn’t. I needed to tell him how I felt, even if it meant ruining our newly founded friendship. Maybe this would be therapeutic and finally give me the closure I need to move on with my heart. I decided to go to his house and tell him face to face.
When I arrived to his house I was greeted by his parents, who till this day still called me their “future daughther”.We chatted for a few minutes at the door then they rushed off to hurry up and catch a flight they were late for. In their frenzy they invited me in to wait for Scott who was due to arrive any minute from work. I obliged and went upstairs to his bedroom to wait. I didn’t have to wait long. About five minutes passed when I heard the front door open. I abruptly jumped to my feet and stared at his bedroom door awaiting for him to walk in. But as the footsteps grew closer I heard the exchange of two voices. He wasn’t alone, he was with Rachel. I couldn’t profess my love in front of her or give a legitimate reason as to why I was there. So I quickly opened his closet door and ducked inside. The two of them were so busy laughing most likely at one of Rachel’s jokes that they didn’t hear me. They continued amongst themselves as they entered ,I stayed quiet and put. They instaneously were all over each other and I could see everything through the shingles of his closet door.
They kissed passionately and touched each other all over. They continued thier lip locking barrage while walking slowly towards the bed with Rachel leading the way. She sat Scott down and stood before him still smacking away as he ran his hands up and down under her low cropped shirt.i rolled my eyes in envy as he impatiently started to undress her beginning with her top and bra. Her breasts were a nice size and firm ass hell. I quickly thought to myself…those couldn’t be real. Whatever they were Scott was all over them licking and sucking away as she purred and held his head to navigate him to the right spots that turned her on. Then his tongue migrated down to the top of her denim shorts. He teased her by flicking away at her pelvic bone and kissing her belly button.when she could take no more he undid her shorts and revealed some cheeky lacey boy shorts. Even from the distance I was at I could see the bulge in Scott’s pants rise. I was upset with myself.i didn’t want to watch him smash Rachel but a part of me just couldn’t look away. About a second later all of me wished I would have. Scott pulled down the boy shorts , my mouth hit the floor before those panties did. Underneath all that pretty lace was a huge long dick. Rachel had a dick! And before my eyes had time to connect with my brain to comprehend what I was viewing that dick was deep down Scott’s throat. He was sucking the soul out of Rachel through his… I mean her dick. The shit was unreal. The man of my life was gay and sucking dick in front of me. I quickly felt my eyes fill up and heard my heart shatter in a million pieces.i was such a fool but it all made sense now. It explained why he dumped me in high school and told me it was because he had to find himself. And also why he never let his family meet his he-she. It was also why she never felt threatned by me. She always knew she had something that i didnt that Scott desired. With my mind racing a 100mph I still continued to watch the show. Scott ate that dick with no hands while palming Rachel’s tities. She held on to his head while throwing her own head back moaning enjoing herself. Then she laid her man all the way down and climbed on to the bed to join him. With Scott on his back she raised his legs in the air to get clear access to his ass and put all of herself inside her man. Rachel pumped away and Scott held on for the ride. She lowered herself to feed Scott some tities and to try to muffle his moans. I covered my mouth to silence my gasps. I was in disbelief. She smashed the fuck out of Scott and he loved every minute of it. When she felt herself about to cum she told him so and asked where he wanted it. “I’m bout to nut. Where you want it baby? In your ass or in your mouth? ” Scott replied heavily breathing ” I’m bout to cum too. I want it in my mouth”. At that moment Rachel sped up her pace and started ramming that ass real hard. Scott cried out and held on to her tighter. “Ohh it’s coming get ready baby” Rachel exclaimed. Then she pulled out and motioned for Scott to come close.She jammed her dick in his mouth and released a mouth full of nut that slid down his esophagus. Scott made sure he got every drip that came out. Then she started jacking him off and Scott climaxed too, all over Rachel’s tities. They were covered in cum and sweat. They both collapsed together onto the bed and laid there to recuperate. My eyes were wide the whole time. When I finally blinked I actually hurt my eye lids.
They cleaned up then laid in each other arms for a moment before drifting off to sleep. I waited about 15 minutes and when I thought they were sound asleep I creeped out the closet and escaped out of the room of WHAT THE FUCK and headed home. When I entered my own room I cried a million tears and sobbed so hysterically I could barely breath. I finally had lost it, my mind was gone.
The next day as usual Scott texted me “good morning”. I reciprocated and he followed by asking if the three of us could hook up later for a movie. I declined and told him I already had plans for later and he was crushed. “OK cool. Maybe some other time Sam” he wrote back. It was the truth. I actually did have plans, a date. I finally took some guy I met at the Taste of Cincinnati offer for dinner and was meeting him later. Scott will always be the love of my life but he was right I deserved better. I deserve to be happy. I finally got the closure I needed and was ready to start dating and being Samantha again. I was finally ready to start moving on.

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