One Day….

Published August 23, 2015 by Stephanie

I raised by my mother
We lived in the same house but I never knew her
Because we lived our lives never speaking to one another
My daddy was also there
But I was no daddy’s girl
And neither one of them gave a damn about me and my world
I met a nigga who showed me attention I didn’t get from home
I got caught up in the affection
And started to no longer feel alone
But he didn’t love me, probably didn’t care
I could tell from the bruises that he left on me and how he used to chock me,leaving me gasping for air
I got smart and left quick
I was tired of getting hit and I aint talking about dick
I stayed single and fucked up for years besides my kids from a man who didn’t want them I had nothing,just me and my tears
I started drinking to feel better and help disguise my fears
Within myself, I used to blackout and hoped I’ll never reappear
I was down and out in despair
But I never showed it
I kept my head up and always wore a smile that was bright
There were a few I let get close
We all got sexual needs, so to me they were just hoes
No breakfast,no sleepovers, no meeting your momma
No spooning,no cuddling,no drama
I became ruthless, a heart breaker
I just wanted to fuck,I didn’t want a love maker
I went from Shawn,Tony to Jamal and Aaron
One or two Brandons and even one named Karon
I didnt give a damn, All those niggas were the same
I finally switched up my game
And settled down with a man
Who treated me like a queen,made me feel like a woman
He gave me every thing that I wanted and was great with the kids
That dream life didn’t last long,like cups with no lids
Spilled milk was all over
And I was left by myself to clean it all
But I was used to being alone so I was strong and stood tall
Now I’m single and back on the scene
But I’m still healing so I’m cautious about who I’m seeing
I never give out chances cause history has shown me that no man is worthy of me
I even tried to date some bitches but they were just as worst
They just wanted threesomes so thier nigga would buy them a new purse
I let my guard down once and truly cared for a chick
I thought she was my girl but she did some shit I never would’ve predict
Behind my back she fucked the whole crew, it’s some shit I’ll never forget
Now I’m just numb to the bullshit
I’m not the prettiest but I’m beautiful
I know my worth and know I deserve
Someone truthful
To love me for me and make me feel wonderful
Instead I became a dark hollow shell,so resentful
But it helped make me more mindful
Of the company I kept near
Focused more on my money and kids
And going back to school to finally change my career
I stopped hanging out all night drinking beer
And everything that once was hazy was finally becoming clear
Along the way as I was searching for a piece of mind
Another one came along,
He was tall,handsome and kind
And we connected from the start and got along just fine
But like the others he wasn’t very smart
He let me get away and I won’t lie it hurts now to be apart
We were together but separated by distance
Now we’re divided and I wished I never knew of his existence
My heart is hurt,it’s injured
I think it’s in need of assistance
He’ll never known how much pain I’ve endured
Just as I will never understand why he pursued and lured
Me into his life and snatched the soul out of mine
But I’ll get over it over time
I’ve made this far and my heart is still pumping just fine
Some people call me a bitch, claim I’m mean and just bitter
Nope I’m real and know life ain’t always rainbows and glitter
And that people you love and hold close are the muthafuckas who will hurt you the most
They say” ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all …”
I say fuck love, it’s turned my heart into a hard concrete ball
So I stay to myself,writing and getting lost in books
Hoping someday someone would appreciate me for me and not just my looks
Always envisioning a better life like in my stories i read, filled with happiness,joy and love
Wishing one day one of the above
Would finally happen to me

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Posted from WordPress for Android

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